Fangirlism : How it's Crazy, How it's Dealt
by Mei Fire
Summary: We all know the world of fangirlism, but I know that it's gone too far. If you're a fangirl that's thrown into complete denial, I suggest you shouldn't read this.


**MeiFire: Inspired by o0Chop.Suey0o's story, ****Channel 007 News presents: Fanaticastro Obsessive**

**IMPORTANT NOTE:****Most information is based off of her story I guess...I'm trying to point out all the info by my own words, but she pretty much covered everything...Damn. I'm not very good in the areas of "Persuade" and "Inform" and such. I'm more of a comedian. A crack comedian. So this is also a good way for me to practice on making forceful arguements and such.**

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**Fangirlism : How it's Crazy, How it's Dealt**

You, as a fan, have either wasted a good heaping portion of your life staring at videos, pictures, and written fan-made stories that are about who in God's name you're actually fangirling for. _Actually_ either make a website, plastering the images all over your room, or making fan art of that certain boy. This is just being a fangirl, or called "Fangirlism". The chances of girls making contact with this world wide mental illness is very large, more like a 99.9 percent chance. This can be caught by watching Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, or anywhere else that's broadcasted in television. Beware, if you are the 00.1 percent that has not caught this illness, I suggest you take extra precaution...

**SYMPTOMS:**

(1) As said in the beginning, you waste almost all of your valuable time by staring at the image of your bishie, replaying every single episode in which he is shown in.

(2) You search everywhere from Wikipedia to AbsoluteAnime on the World Wide Web, trying to find out every single information known to mankind about who-know's-what's-his-name.

(3) There's a high chance you have written an OC (Or Mary-Sue) that has somehow met the boy of your dreams, and the two fall in love.

(4) You hate ALL female Bleach characters that have come in contact with that boy for no reason. At all. It's sad, because that girl has nothing to harm or insult you in any way.

(5) You are nodding and smiling, and eventually laughing at this article. It's not funny at all. We're not even halfway.

(6) If number 4 is true, then you either bash about them or you'll get all snippy when I'll defend them, because I will later on.

(7) You create images in your mind of you and whoever you're fangirling for. It's either a small cute moment, or a sick and M-rated thought. It's called an imagination, people.

(8) You're actually offended and just can't continue reading this. The truth stinks, I know. But get over it, will you? Lying to yourself will make it worse.

(9) If number 3 is true, you also 'somehow' get tossed into Karakura Town or Soul Society. You ALSO make the guy of your dreams OOC, thus making him automatically fall in love with you...But if you're one of those well organized authors, then this doesn't apply to you.

(10) You get happy and joyful when the non-existent boy shows up on TV. It's the fangirl instincts kicking in...

**Vunerability**

There's a chance that girls are VUNERABLE to being exposed to this mental illness. These girls turn into fangirls because...

(1) They're anime lovers...

(2) Friends peer pressure them to watch anime.

(3) Parents show them an anime show. (This happened to me...)

(4) They're actually single. (There's also fangirls out there who also have real life boyfriends)

(5) Their age either range from 10 to 20 and on. It's not exact. The age can go up.

(6) They manage to see an image or a short clip of the boy in the anime, then they start hunting down information about him.

(7) They've seen advertisements of the anime.

(8) Are probably anti-social. (To be honest, I use to fall under this catagory...)

**OFFENSIVE VS DEFFENSIVE**

There's always going to be a chance that you're gonna hate some female characters as said in number 4 of the list of symptoms.

Rukia: If you're an Ichigo/Renji fangirl, you're probably hating Rukia right about now. She was the damsel in distress in the Soul Society Arc, and Ichigo was determined to save her (Note that most of you fangirls should start getting a bit jealous about her right about now). And you were actually glad when she was about to die in execution. You ALSO hate her for being a strict ass against Ichigo. It's her way of 'cheering up' Ichigo. May I remind you that these two have a strong friendship?

Orihime: I don't know! It's either the size of her bosom, or the fact that she's also the sort of girl to be a damsel in distress. OR that her healing powers are at an incredible rate. This goes for you Uryuu and Ichigo fangirls. She did NOTHING to harm you in anyway. Heck, she even can't. Not only that she can't attack you through the TV, she doesn't have a will to fight. Orihime has a kind heart, which explains why she has cool powers to heal people no matter how severe the wound is.

Matsumoto: Maybe the reason you hate her is because she bugs Hitsugaya and ditches all of her paperwork to get drunk. Or maybe it's yet again, the bosom. Matsumoto is not heartless, just lazy. She's the faithful fuku-taichou (minus paperwork), and she's just a fashion freak as you girls. Or not.

Hinamori: Is it because of her devotion to Aizen? Yeah, probably. And that she's a total drama queen. We can all get emotional, so why are you poking fun at her? She's also Hitsugaya's one and only childhood friend in all of Seireitei. Maybe that's it. It might be jealousy, or you think she's annoying when her emotions kick in. Hinamori is kind just like Orihime. Protective and sensitive. You can be that too.

Nemu: She was also a damsel in distress from her own Captain, and Uryuu happened to save her. You, as an Uryuu fangirl, hate Nemu 100 percent. May I remind you that her captain is also her father? And that her own father somehow uses her as a crazy experiment. Child Abuse much? I don't think it's right for you to get all angry about her.

Yoruichi: Not only is this pathetic, it's also sad. Urahara and Yoruichi have been childhood friends, too. I don't think bickering over for a guy that's probably older than you is right. Enough said.

Karin: She had that little moment with Hitsugaya in episode 132, but that doesn't give you the right to bash her. She's ten. Getting angry against a girl that's probably under your age is pathetic.

**BOY LIST:**

Ichigo: Well duh, he's the main character which started out the whole story of _Bleach_. I don't really know about why girls like him. Maybe it's the hair, he's rip...Sorta. Plus he has a big ass sword that he uses to slash and hack through hollows, plus his bankai looks like a rip-off from Matrix. Well, a big sword is sort of awesome...But I seriously doubt he'll run away with you.

Uryuu: I THINK there's fangirls for him. Is it because he has amazing sewing powers? Or that he has that sob story of him being the last of his kind? Someone in the reviews please explain why...

Renji: Well, he has spikey red hair, and he's one of the many males that kick hollow and Arrancar ass throughout the series. But he won't ditch Rukia, who IS after all, his childhood friend.

Ulquiorra: Wow...This is one of the saddest things I've ever seen. Girls actually _like_ this guy? Not only does he look emo (sorry if you are), but he belongs to the **bad guys**. Yeah, sure. Why not? Go fall in love with some bad ass dude who follows orders from a shinigami who betrayed all of Seireitei.

Grimmjow: What.The.Fuck? This is even worse than Ulquiorra. He has a crazy need to kill all of the good guy's sorry asses, and there you are, falling in love with him. Again, it might be the bad ass vibe that fangirls like, but get a grip, people! A guy who kills almost everything in sight...I don't think you should even go for him.

Urahara: No, just no. A big ass no. He's probably WAY too old to go out with you. The end.

Hitsugaya: Hmmm...Not sure, maybe it's his ice powers? Or that his hair looked like it was shot by lightning. He's a child prodigy, and a Captain of the Gotei 13. That's probably it, right? I doubt a kid that takes his work seriously would put it aside for you. Plus if you're older than him, that's just wrong. He's 13 if you guys wanna know...At least of what I heared.

Byakuya: Again, this guy takes things seriously. Reasons girls like him: He's from one of the four noble families, and a captain of the Gotei 13, and he has the whole loner vibe. I seriously doubt he'll break his promise with his parents again for a fangirl

Aizen: Of course, I rant again about the whole 'bad ass' vibe. You probably like him because of that, or you really hate Hinamori. Makes perfect sense. Go fall in love with a guy that threw Seireitei into chaos, why don't you?

Ichimaru: Okay, I really don't know why girls like him. His smile freaks me out and he never opens his eyes. Only once.

**Yaoi and Yuri**

Yes, you all know. The malexmale and femalexfemale pairings. There are reasons people think of such sad and sickening pairings. It's either for their amusement or that they actually find it "attracting". Messing around with people's non-existent love life is one thing, but making them fall in love with their own same gender is just too far. I won't comment any longer on this topic, seeing as I have no idea why on Earth people love these pairings.

**To Purify Thy Sinned Soul:**

If you want to get off your addiction to that fictional character, may I suggest you follow what is written below?

1) Get a hobby. No, not another addiction. Something like cooking, sewing, everyday things.

2) There's a world outside your doorstep. Why don't you go out for a bit?

3) Delete ALL pictures related to said bishie on your computer. Don't go back online and hunt them down all over again. Tempting, I know.

4) Get back to taking interest in real people. Make REAL friends, and get a real crush.

5) Try helping out with the chores around the house. Your parents will love the extra help.

6) Whatever you do, don't think about the non-existent character you used to fangirl.

**This has been Mei Fire from...Fanfiction I guess. Inspiration was from o0Chop.Suey0o with her version on about fangirlism, FullMetal Alchemist style. If you're an FMA fan, I should suggest you should read her fic, too! And please, if you wanna flame, don't hold back. It just proves that you're one of those fangirls in denial.**

**Buh bye!**

**-Mei Fire**

**P.S. I'm thirteen. o.O**


End file.
